This week has been one crazy ride. First, I feel like I need to share this poem that I wrote on Monday when I got home from our only lesson. (In response to the passing of her grandmother Nonnie) I am calling it I Love You.
They told me you got worse this week
That your body just couldn't handle it
That it is death behind every door.
it's not the news I wanted to hear
But look at the life you've lived
Years passed what the doctors told you.
A life of faith and growth and light and love
You got to meet your grandkids
And even saw a great grandkid or two
Six for six of your eligible grandkids
Served away from home in the service of the Lord.
Your two little girls are faithful and enduring.
Your love of music showing through the generations.
The legacy you left behind, you are leaving behind,
Will be hard to live up to.
But here we are Nonnie. Donna Rae.
We are here because you kept fighting.
I love you. Goodbye, until we meet again.
Here in Casas Grandes, there are murals all around centro that have different reasons to love Casas Grandes. One of these says we love Casas Grandes because of the five seasons- Summer, Fall, Winter, Dust, and Spring. And boy can I attest to this. I felt like I spent a day in the sand dunes by the time we got home like every day. But it's fun to be out in the wind all day, and I will take wind and dirt over heat and sweat any day.
Sometimes I ask people how they know that God loves them. Almost everyone says it is because they have a family. For me, it is even more than that. I was thinking about this all week, actually. I read the talk from last general conference about ponderizing a scripture a week and my scripture that I chose this week is 2 Nephi 26:24. The one that talks about Christ not doing anything unless it is for the benefit of the world. But what I've gotten out of that is that, when we are following the commandments, nothing will happen in our lives that will not be for our benefit also. The death of Nonnie has been hard for me. But I know that it was her time. I knew before I left that she was going to die while I was in Mexico. We had this one moment, my last week at home, where we were just laying down next to each other. Not even talking, just laying down, and it was peaceful. Which was weird because the house was busy, but it was like we were in our own little bubble. And I just had the very distinct feeling that I would never be able do that again. This week, I've thought a lot about that. And that is one of the reasons that I know God loves me. Because He gave me a chance to say goodbye to my Nonnie without actually saying goodbye. I had the chance to grow up knowing the most faithful person I have ever met.
I have felt Nonnie here with me a lot. The day that she died, when i got home, the beginning of the song All I Ask of You from Phantom came into my mind. The part that says ¨no more talk of darkness, forget your wide eyed fears, I'm here, right here beside you.¨ My wide eyed fear was that Nonnie would die. But it`s okay, because she is here with me now. Right here beside me.
Everything that happens in life is for a reason. I could see that with one of our investigators this week. The sister is interested in the church, but doesn`t like committing to do anything. Which is a problem because her progress depends of committments. But. We tried to go with her like every day this week. Literally every day. We finally found her on Sunday, with her husband. we met her husband in the last lesson we had with her, and he was really interested but couldn`t commit to going to church because he had to work. But yesterday we invited them to General conference and he said yes! That from now on he will be home on Sundays. And I just felt the entire time during the lesson that this was the reason we couldn't find this sister in her house until Sunday, so that we could also teach her husband.
Also, I had to give a talk in church! It was on the atonement and I think it was good haha.
The timing of the Lord is perfect. All we need to do is rely on Him and everything will turn out to be okay.
I love you mom. I'm thinking of you all this week. I want you to know that I am happy. That I am doing good and i really wouldn`t rather be anywhere else, even though I would like to be with you all during this hard time.